Spider - Intention

Dear Friend,

A spider weaves her web one strand at a time, with purpose. She creates a place to catch what she needs. Winds blow, something flies into the web and breaks a bit, it comes undone. And Spider, with her intention still at the center, mends the web and starts again.

I’ve been thinking about my own life this way. How am I weaving a container to catch what I truly want? What am I putting at the center of my web, and are the choices I make helping me create it?

Recently, I became aware of a beautiful Herbal Studies program being offered right up the hill from me. It’s being held at the truly vibey Krishnamurti Center, in a gorgeous garden. It’s an in-depth program with a two-year commitment. The thought of joining it brings me so much joy! For a full weekend each month, I’d be spending time in a stunning garden with like-minded souls, learning about plants and their properties, and so much more.

I spent a week looking into it. I had a long talk over tea with a dear friend who had gone through the program and loved it. And then, when I sat down and meditated with my guides on whether or not to sign up, I was shown that no, this is not the time.

It surprised me and I could also feel the truth of it in my core.

For you see, I already have something at the center of my web. A couple of things, actually. I have a dream of purchasing property for a family farm and retreat center somewhere in the northern Midwest so that I can be closer to my family and my cabin on Lake Huron. I also hold a dream of building a small bungalow near my Farmily on the Big Island of Hawai‘i, the home of my Spirit.

These two dreams, of having sacred space near my Family and my Farmily, live in the center of my being. They are my intentions.

My guides told me, “If you are trying to get to where you want to go, you need to choose a path and follow it. If you keep changing which route you take, it will take you a lot longer to get there.”

It reminded me of taking a trip in a car. If I choose a route and then keep changing my mind about how I want to get there, I have to backtrack, turn around, start again. The other roads aren't necessarily bad roads. They simply aren't the road I'm taking.

And this is where I realized something about myself.

As someone who is very passionate about a lot of things, it can be hard for me to stay the course. I’ve studied yoga, massage, life coaching, shamanism, and on and on. If I could, I’d be enrolled in training programs all the time! I simply love to learn.

But gathering more teachings, as wonderful as they are, is not very useful unless I put them to use.

I already know more than I need to know to show up fully for the clients who come to me. I could pull from my basket of tools for the rest of my life and still not use everything I’ve learned. Of course I will always be learning. That doesn’t stop. But I’ve spent a lifetime gathering beautiful threads with which to weave my life, and I’ve come to realize that this is my time to use them, both to support others and to support myself.

I wonder how many of us do this. We gather beautiful threads throughout our lives, always finding another thing to learn, another possibility to follow, without realizing how much we already have to weave with.

When I asked my guides how to stay focused on what I am creating, they gave me a diagram. At the center, I placed my two big dreams. Around those, I drew another circle containing the things that feed and support them: my business, my family and Farmily, savings, visualization, collaboration. And around that, another circle containing the things that support me: good food, exercise, bodywork, yoga, meditation, time with friends, morning walks, days off.

The message was: The dream lives in the center. The ring around it feeds and supports the dream. The ring around that supports me in doing what I need and want to do.

And then I looked at what I had drawn.

It was a web.

When something new comes into my life, I can come back to the center and ask: Does this feed my intention? Does this feed my dream, or take away from it?

Maybe that's a question worth carrying with us. Not Is this a good thing? or even Would this bring me joy? But Does this belong in the web I am weaving?

The herbalism program is beautiful. I would love it. There is nothing wrong with that road. But right now, it would take time, money and energy from the web I have already chosen to weave.

I’ve learned to follow joy in my life and trust that it will lead me in the right direction. But I’m also learning that following joy doesn't mean I have to follow every joyful possibility. Sometimes there is something bigger that I want to create, and that takes focus. It takes putting one foot in front of the other. I can focus on the joy of my dream and let it pull me toward it. And that helps me make the sometimes hard decision to turn down something I would also love, just not as much.

When I think of our place in the world, I like to think of a web, the web of creation. We are all interconnected to every other thing. What we do matters to us, on our own web, and that web is simply a small part of the web of life. So what we do really, really, really matters.

Perhaps this is what Spider is asking us to notice. What have we placed at the center of our web? What are we weaving around it? And are the threads we are choosing helping us create the lives we truly want?

There will always be other paths. Other possibilities. Other beautiful threads we could gather.

But for now, I want to remember what I have placed at the center of my web. To choose my threads with intention. To mend the places that come undone and keep weaving.

And to trust that, strand by strand, I am creating the life I came here to create.

Love,

Carrie